


'Til The Walls Did Crumble And Fall

by Serenity59



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Immortality, M/M, Mortality, Redeemed Booker | Sebastien le Livre, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:54:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25906174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serenity59/pseuds/Serenity59
Summary: When Nicky sees a cut on his palm continues to bleed for the first time, he knows breaking the news to Joe will be the hardest thing to come of it. They're two halves of one soul, how will he be able to leave his beloved behind? The team comes together and living in the present ensues.
Relationships: Andy | Andromache & Booker | Sebastien le Livre & Joe | Yusuf al-Kaysani & Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Andy | Andromache of Scythia & Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Andy | Andromache of Scythia & Nile Freeman, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 9
Kudos: 295





	'Til The Walls Did Crumble And Fall

**Author's Note:**

> "They danced through the day  
> and into the night,  
> through the snow that swept  
> through the halls
> 
> From winter,  
> to summer,  
> and winter again,  
> 'Til the walls did crumble and fall."
> 
> -Jenny of Old Stones

Nicky doesn’t remember the last time he felt so horrible, felt such grief and despair. Hardly any of it was for himself, though- nearly all of it was for Joe.

Yusuf, his love, who he now will be forced to leave behind. It was an oddly surprising relief at first glance when Nicky cut his palm on the balcony railing of their hotel room in France. He watched the wound bleed… and bleed… and bleed. It didn’t heal.

It didn’t heal.

He was almost awestruck at it, cradling his bloodied palm like he was looking into the secrets of the universe like he was  _ given  _ something rather than being robbed of. He almost felt like he… like he was given his  _ humanity  _ back. He was just a man. It was a long, long time since he’d been  _ just  _ a man. A man, like any other. Not the soldier who would not die, not the lab rat who’d face unspeakable torments, not the accused sorcerer who was marked as an apostate of satan. A man. An (almost) normal human. In a way, a part of him felt like maybe this was god finally accepting him, finally giving him the right to one day enter heaven. For so long, especially in the beginning, Nicky had been convinced that his immortality was a sign that he would not be allowed into the afterlife until he figured out what his purpose on earth was and fulfilled it. Seeing the blood on his hand, he felt a sordid wave of relief wash over him, of  _ joy  _ that he’d finally,  _ finally  _ achieved whatever he had spent 900 years searching for. 

He’d laughed a little at the cut, a mix of every possible emotion bubbling into a hysterical chuckle at the simple, minor wound that was now starting to slow in bleeding, the area around it red. 

The strange happiness only lasted a moment, though.

Then, it was sadness. Intense fear.

Yusuf. 

He’d be leaving Yusuf.

He promptly ran to the bathroom and threw up, closing the door behind him so that he wouldn’t worry his beloved if he happened to get home early from the walk he’d gone on with Nile. How could he tell him? How would he explain to  _ the other half of his soul  _ that their infinite time was over? That his days on earth were now numbered? Moreover, how could  _ he himself  _ leave Yusuf behind? What would happen in 50 years from now, when he’d have no choice but to go into the next world alone? He supposed that Yusuf may lose his immortality at some point, but who could say if it would be within Nicky's allotted time now? Besides, Nicolo felt selfish for wishing that Joe would become vulnerable like him just so he wouldn’t be without the man. 

He hid it for as long as he could, covered his hand with his wallet when he slipped away to a drug store to grab a concealer, dabbing it carefully until no one could notice. He desperately wanted just a few more days with his beloved before everything would inevitably change.

_ “My love, you take my breath away each time like it was the very first,” Joe had smiled into his lips after they made love that night, holding each other close after catching their breath, getting lost in the other's eyes. Nicky smiled back, only kissing him more. _

* * *

After three days, Nicky told him.

Joe immediately ran to the safe where they kept their weapons, and before Andy and Nile could wrench it away from him, took his scimitar and slashed a deep gash across his own leg. 

He screamed as the wound closed immediately, healing as flawless as it always had. It left unmarked skin behind, perfect and olive-toned, whilst Nicky still had a scab on his palm from three days ago.

Joe fell apart right there on the living room floor, sobbing openly whilst Andy stood stock still in shock, Nile looking upset and scared beside her. Nicky rushed to Joe's side, enveloping him in his arms and holding him to his chest. 

“Hush, now, mi amore.” He’d whispered sadly into Joe’s ear, burying his face in his shoulder, “It will be alright.”

For the next week and a half, Joe barely moved from their bed, clutching Nicky to him in an iron grip, heart so broken that he couldn’t even speak. He only whimpered into Nicky's chest, keeping their bodies pressed together as though he was trying to meld them into one. He ran his fingers through Nicky's hair over and over again, trying to memorize the sensation of it, and then cried some more.

Nicky tried to comfort him as best he could, but he had never been eloquent with words, to begin with. Even if he was though, he doubted there was anything he could say. What words were there to offer, when he knew the love of his life would be leaving before him? Everything they’d done for the past 900+ years had been together- they’d never been apart for two nights, let alone an eternity. They lived together, and they had planned on dying together. But now, that wasn’t an option. And Nicky couldn’t bear to see his sun and heart so upset. 

“I want you both to promise me something,” he’d whispered quietly one night, when Joe was solidly asleep against his chest and Andy and Nile were sitting across from them, having just delivered dinner for the night. 

“Anything, Nicolo,” Andy answered kindly, voice unusually gentle and ever-patient. 

Nicky sighed softly, glancing at Joe before looking back at them, “I need you to promise me that whatever happens, you’ll look out for him. Make sure he  _ lives,  _ not just  _ exists.  _ He’ll fight you for it, but promise me you’ll do it anyway? For me?”

Nile nodded with a look of certainty and confidence that gave Nicky more comfort than he ever thought it could. “I promise.” she said seriously, “No matter what happens, he’ll never be alone. Not as long as I’m around.” 

“Me too,” Andy echoed, placing a hand on Nicky’s gently. “Whatever it takes, we look out for each other.” 

Nicky smiled with relief, a small weight he didn’t even realize he’d been carrying gone from his shoulders. “Thank you.”

* * *

Joe is awake early the next morning, to Nicky’s surprise, and he’s staring at him with an unreadable look on his face. “Habibi,” he murmured, voice rough from crying, “why are you leaving me?” 

Nicky's heart dropped, and he rose up to kiss his cheeks and then lips, soft and chaste. “I am not leaving you, my love. I will never leave you. Even when you can no longer see me, I will still be with you.” He murmured, running a hand through the black curls that he loved so much.

Joe scoffed, eyes still dull with heartbreak. “You know that’s not what I meant.” He replied. 

Nicky faltered, pausing before taking his hand and turning his cheek gently to meet his gaze. “I am being serious, Yusuf,” he implored, “I will walk this earth as a spirit forever if I have to, but I will not abandon you. I  _ love you.  _ God will not keep me from you, he will let me guard you and bring you peace.” 

Joe was silent for a moment, looking at the bedsheets intensely before pressing their foreheads together, sharing the same breath. “I’ve been thinking,” he murmured softly, voice barely above a whisper, “that maybe you’ve been chosen so that Andy won’t be alone… she needs someone to… t-to go with her.” 

Nicky's chest tightened at that, eyes stinging slightly with emotion. 

“Do you,” Joe sucked in a shaky breath, “do you promise that you’ll stay together? That… wherever you are, you won’t separate for a second? You need each other, so you won’t be afraid. I-I need to know that you’ll be with someone who loves you… so do you promise me that you’ll stay with her, no matter what?” 

Nicky nodded, throat tight as he pressed kisses to Joe's nose and lips, the salt of his tears bitter to taste. “I promise,” he replied quietly, “ya hayati, my love, I promise we’ll stay by each other's side… and I promise that we will wait for you.  _ I  _ will  _ always  _ wait for you, Yusuf Al-kaysani, no matter what.”

They spend the rest of the day holding each other and reflecting on the memories of old.

* * *

Booker comes back when Nicky calls him. Nicky gets the feeling that no one really wanted to see the man they had exiled nearly 10 months ago, but no one protested when Booker walked in the door one day. 

He looked at Nicky, eyes wide in shock and sadness. “Is it true?” He asked quietly like he was afraid of the answer.

Nicky didn’t answer, only stepped forward and tugged Booker into an embrace. He was frozen in surprise for a moment before hugging him back, hand cupping the back of Nicky’s head. “I’m sorry,  _ mon frére. _ ” Booker whispered, “I have failed you.”

Nicky chuckled half-heartedly, pulling away and resting a firm hand on Booker’s shoulder. “If you think you are the only man who has ever failed, you are sorely mistaken, my friend.” He smiled warmly, and all the tension in the room seemed to fall away.

* * *

Booker slipped back into their lives as though nothing had ever happened, and everyone seemed to realize how irrelevant the past was now that the future was no longer certain. Even Joe, who’d taken the longest to come back around, forgave Booker sooner than Nicky expected him to. Although if he was being honest with himself, it was probably because Joe saw how happy his beloved was when everyone was together again. 

Joe still refused to go anywhere longer than 10 minutes without Nicky. They were attached at the hip now as if they weren’t already before. Nicky didn’t mind it, though, would happily lean into Joe’s embrace for all eternity if he could. 

“Let’s go out dancing tonight,” Nicky said abruptly as they were lying on the couch watching TV. Andy was helping Nile with the dishes from dinner, and Nicky, Joe, and Booker were in the living room watching a soccer match. 

Joe raised an eyebrow at that, hands laced together across Nicky’s stomach as he held him on his lap. “Really?” He asked, unsure what to make of it.

Nicky nodded, a wanderlust smile on his face. He’d been itching to get out of the hotel for a while now, wanting to go somewhere bustling with life and music instead of quiet and sadness. 

“I know a good club downtown,” Booker offered, swirling his gin and tonic in its glass, “waterside view of the Seine, outdoor patio, open bar… I think we might’ve even gone there in the ’60s at some point.”

“Oh, the one near the Moulin Rouge?” Andy piped up from the kitchen, poking her head in the room from around the corner.

“That’s the one.” Booker confirmed, and somewhere in the background, Nile can be heard ‘wow’ing in disbelief and asking Andy if they’d been to the world-famous theatre before. 

Nicky could feel Joe tense against him, his hold tightening ever so slightly. Getting used to the idea of living a normal life again was terrifying for him, Nicky knew that. He knew how hard it was for his love to accept the notion that taking risks was now a reality that they would have to embrace. He’d been so afraid of Nicky’s fragility, his mortality, that he outright refused to entertain the idea of missions for a long time to come. Nicolo understood that, didn’t even try to push him on it when he told him. They could deal with that later. But for now, Nicky wanted nothing more than to see the familiar smile Joe would beam when they went out and had fun. 

“Are you sure you want to go out tonight?” Joe asked apprehensively, “We could always wait…” 

Nicky smiled softly, cup ping Joe’s cheek with his hand and pressing a kiss to his lips. “I’m alive, mi amore,” he breathed, “now, take me out dancing.”

A slow smile spread across Joe’s face, the first genuine one in weeks, and Nicky swears it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. 

They dance that night, and for a few hours, they simply lived in the present instead of the past or future.


End file.
